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Writer's pictureBarb Lownsbury

Trusting Yourself Again

Updated: Jul 12

Going through deeply challenging situations can really get us questioning our decision-making and judgment. After all, that relationship didn’t end in a void, and that business didn’t tank by itself. We were active participants in something that ended badly, whatever the situation.


I could spend time talking about grace, the importance of learning from your mistakes, forgiving yourself (because you’re already forgiven!), and moving forward. Instead, I want to discuss something I think we sometimes miss—at least I did at first. You still know how to make good, solid decisions. No, I’m not talking about the ones you feel confident making in other areas. I’m talking about the ones you still need to make in your area of weakness or failure.


What I have learned and seen time and time again is that decision-making itself isn’t always the issue. Oftentimes, it's trusting our judgment and internal compass—the Holy Spirit—that is the real challenge. Personally, I've almost always received some kind of internal warning, whether it's a pang of guilt, an unsettled feeling, a flash of questioning, or a thought that there’s more going on than I wanted to acknowledge. In hindsight, I can see the signs, and I was AWARE of those signs at the time!


We start to get into trouble when we try to rationalize away what our mind and spirit are starting to perceive. We justify; we make excuses. We remind ourselves why we don’t like conflict or how we’re likely blowing things out of proportion. We come up with all sorts of reasons to continue to allow bad behavior, especially if it’s our own. It’s like we manipulate and trick ourselves into buying into something because it’s easier, quicker, or simpler to swallow in the moment.


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In understanding this, I have learned the value of stepping back and re-examining my steps to see where I shut out truth, and especially why I shut it out. That simple process has made such a difference in who I am as a person and has allowed my confidence to grow tremendously! I realize I do have good instincts, and learning to listen to and trust them is an empowering experience.


There are two scriptures here that help guide me. In Galatians 5:25, it says, “Now since we have chosen to walk with the Spirit, let’s keep each step in perfect sync with God’s Spirit.” To me, that says listen closely to what God is saying to me. Trust Him! He actually knows what He’s doing, and the more I listen and follow, the more I experience His perfection and peace.


The other is in 1 Thessalonians 5:19, which says, “Don’t suppress the Spirit.” If you get that nudge, however gentle, don’t be afraid to explore it. If people are telling you hard truths about yourself, have the humility to listen closely and grow. Invite God’s Spirit into situations, especially when they’re hard. You’ll be amazed by the goodwill and peace it ultimately promotes.


So go ahead! Re-evaluate that relationship you’re thinking of starting or ending. Ask the hard questions you’ve been putting off. Take the plunge into what you know you need to do. Even though it may be hard in the short term, over the long haul you’ll be glad you did.


FOR FURTHER THOUGHT: This week, think of an area you doubt your judgment in. Take some time to explore the signs you might have ignored in past situations. Most importantly, begin to pray for a regained confidence in your ability to make spirit-led decisions so you can begin trusting yourself again.


PRAYER: Lord, you promise to make those who ask wise. I'm asking Lord. Give me wisdom and insight into my situation and my character. Open my eyes to the deeper recesses of my heart. Help me to listen to your still, quiet voice, and to not let my excuses or busyness crowd it out. Most of all, thank you for your merciful grace and mercy when I don't. Praise you, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen.


ABOUT BARB LOWNSBURY

Barb Lownsbury

Barb is a speaker, author, and entrepreneur. She has Bachelor’s Degrees in International History and in Education, and a Master’s Degree in Education. She has spoken at conferences and taught classes throughout the U.S. about faith, relationships, leadership and courage through trial. Her book, Using What’s Broken to Boldly Shine, is a powerful read of transformation through trial. Her blogging is focused on giving people encouragement and strength for their personal journey. Barb serves as the Executive Director for The Dented Fender Ministry and runs a successful real estate and development company. She currently resides in Dayton, Ohio with her husband and blended family of seven.


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